Jeff Sessions Urges Melania to Work Harder on Campaign to Stop Cyberbullying

First Lady Melania Trump. (photo: Remo Casilli/Camera Press)
Melania Trump. (photo: Remo Casilli/Camera Press)

Jeff Sessions Urges Melania to Work Harder on Campaign to Stop Cyberbullying

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

27 July 17

The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, “The Borowitz Report.”

aying that the problem “is far worse than I imagined,” Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Wednesday urged First Lady Melania Trump to intensify her campaign against cyberbullying.

Speaking to reporters from his office at the Justice Department, Sessions said that, whatever Mrs. Trump had done to eliminate the scourge of cyberbullying, “It clearly has not been enough.”

“From my perspective, cyberbullying is very much a growing problem,” he said. “And with every passing day it gets worse and worse.”

Sessions said that, while he understands that Mrs. Trump has many other responsibilities as First Lady, “anything you can do to get cyberbullying to stop will be very much personally appreciated by me.”

“Please help,” he said, his voice quavering.

In an official statement released later in the day, the First Lady said that she had “kind of forgotten” about her campaign to stop cyberbullying but that she would “get right on it.”

 

comments:

# Wise woman 2017-07-27 16:23

First step, Melanie: have a serious sit down with your husband. I know with his brief attention span you’ll probably have a problem. Just print out the letters, CYBER BULLYING. Maybe he’ll get it. If not, at least you tried which I’m sure by now you’re really good at.
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