French Annoyingly Retain Right to Claim Intellectual Superiority Over Americans


French Annoyingly Retain Right to Claim Intellectual Superiority Over Americans

By Andy Borowitz, The New Yorker

08 May 17


The article below is satire. Andy Borowitz is an American comedian and New York Times-bestselling author who satirizes the news for his column, “The Borowitz Report.”

n Sunday, the people of France annoyingly retained their traditional right to claim intellectual superiority over Americans, as millions of French citizens paused to enjoy just how much smarter they were than their allies across the Atlantic.

In bars and cafés across France, voters breathed a sigh of relief in the knowledge that arrogantly comparing themselves to the U.S. population, a longtime favorite pastime of the French people, would remain viable for the foreseeable future.

Pierre Grimange, a Parisian café-goer, sipped on a glass of Bordeaux and toasted his nation “for not being so dumb as the United States after all.”

“A lot was at stake today: the future of our liberal traditions and our democracy itself,” he said. “But by far the greatest loss of all would have been our right to look down on Americans.”

“Grâce à Dieu, that has been secured!” Grimange exclaimed.

But, sitting a few tables away, Helene Commonceau, another Parisian, admitted that she did not understand what all of the celebrating was about. “We are smarter than the Americans, true, but they have set the bar very low, no?” she said.


-8 # Rodion Raskolnikov 2017-05-08 18:58

Actually, I think the French in this vote showed themselves to be dumber than the Americans. Macron is the candidate of the EU banks. He has said he will lower wages and benefits of French workers. He will extend working hours. He will continue the wars in the middle east. In short, a vote for Macron was a vote against the interests of French people. That makes the French just as stupid as American republican voters.

Le Pen was a troubling alternative. Really, we are in a bad time for politics. There are no good alternatives to the neo-liberals/ne o-conservatives .

Macron’s fascism (i.e., the belief that banks and corporations should run governments) is actually more destructive than Le Pen’s fascism. At least a vote for Le Pen would have been a vote against neo-liberal fascism. That’s the really important thing right now.

+7 # Wise woman 2017-05-08 22:06

Well, occasionally French arrogance is correct. This is one of those times. Thanks as usual, Andy.
+7 # No Go 2017-05-08 22:22

Once again, Borowitz proves that sometimes satire can get closer to the truth than anything.
+10 # Time Traveller 2017-05-08 22:58

Oui, we HAVE see the bar very low, indeed.
+5 # diamondmarge7 2017-05-09 00:46

Thank G-d the French rejected their version of the fascist Drumpf
-1 # eyarden 2017-05-09 05:32

I do not recall the claim of intellectual superiority. I was rather a claim of being more civilized. And despite all appearances, the supposed concern of U. S. with the rise of China, the threat of Russia, the E. U. has always been the greatest threat to American hegemony. The first serious blow was inflicted by the exit of the English, who have remained doubtful of the the ability to the Americans to maintain Anglo-white superiority. The answer was the selection of Trump by the oligarchy. The chief instrument of this policy is yet to be revealed by Mr. Borowitz.
+4 #NAVYVET 2017-05-09 06:26

Hilarious! But not true, unless perhaps in Paris. Big cities everywhere tend to be too busy for time with strangers & I never went into Paris on an academic sojourn to France for Medieval research not many years ago. Whether a library or hypermarche, a hostel or ancient battlefield monument, the French were courteous & friendly, willing to help my lousy French–good enough for writing, reading & slow speaking, but not for understanding speakers. A motherly woman was my surrogate on the phone to the car rental agency when a passing train flipped a stone through the driver’s side window. The people of Normandie were especially friendly. In front of a shop in Carentan where there was a 6-foot copy of the Statue of Liberty (painted psychedelic blue), when the shopkeeper learned I was from the US he announced “Une Americaine!” to passers-by. I got a dozen or more hugs & welcomes.

The French are charming people–but so are the citizens in every one of the (approx.) 14 foreign countries I’ve visited, including the Irish (knowledgeable on important issues), the English (definitely NOT reserved, ultra-friendly) , the Scots (who shared their food and aren’t stingy), the Mexicans (warm and helpful with my schoolbook Spanish), the Canadians (who have a right to be proud of their beautiful country), & all the rest are a lot more welcoming than we are to strangers, even though we’re descended from them. That’s why I try to be friendly & helpful to foreign newcomers.


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