going, going, gone…gone beyond

Lovely KS arrives as soon as I’ve found a table at the fashionably funky coffee joint in the snood (student hood). This naturally elegant critter is becoming one of my favorite persons, and a big crush.
As soon as she comes in, she catches sight of me, breaks into a big smile and rushes over, calling my name. We had no plans to meet, but I’ve been thinking of her a lot over the past few days, and especially strongly for some reason during the past hour. And suddenly here she is! I couldn’t plan this much good karmic kismetic-magnetic co-inky-dinky stuff if I tried!

K is an enchanted slip of a sylph who always just appears when she appears—you can’t often expect to pre-arrange solid dates with her! Exasperating as this is, I don’t mean to suggest that she’s a flibberty-gibbet; I’m sure if she found me half as appealing as I find her (as if that were possible!), she’d find a way to schedule considerably more solid together-time for the two of us. It’s been a couple of months already since we’ve been able to enjoy much more than a quick sit-down hello and lingering stand-up hug, and since our last meeting I’ve been missing her.

But she is legitimately super busy, finishing an honors degree while also working full time at a straight job (not a very healthy straight job, IMHO). She is also running her own start-up, a one-woman enterprise that is impressively sophisticated with a sprig of zingy, and is beginning to get traction. Spring semester will be her final term, and so she’s cranking up for graduation in May, after seven years of study. “Once I graduate in May,” she assuages me reassuringly, “there’ll be lots more time for us to spend together!” May?! Meanwhile, for winter break she’s headed to Italy with her best girl friend, something they planned years ago.

K’s quiet dynamism, her confidently determined manner,—her overly-full plate!—is duly impressive. She is also what one can only admit is stunningly gorgeous, with a side profession as a sought-after model—a career she’s enjoyed since she was fifteen. When I first looked through her catalog, I realized “Wow! she’s always been striking, but her beauty emerges more each year.”

But what I like so much about K is: she’s pure-hearted. There’s a rare goodness to her cultivated personality as well as in her natural being. Always genuinely friendly, there’s an almost palpable inner quietude about her. She is unaffected/unaffectated at depth, despite an early surfacey interest in playing semi-seriously at various roles, & despite all the goofy nonsense at the core of the professional fashion/ modeling scene. Also, even taking into account a campy vampy early teen immersion in some gothy dark-cloaked music-related scenes, K’s been deeply interested in genuine spirituality and enlightenment since childhood. “If only I had more time for yoga these days,” she sighs to me today.

Did I mention that in addition to all this, she’s also an activist, spending part of every busy year as a volunteer, working with programs that directly aid the truly suffering and desperately needy members of our community? If you haven’t started falling in love with her already from what I’ve been sharing here, you just don’t know what’s real. K is smart and reflective, and her strongly quiet good-natured presence makes me a little more woozy each time we meet. She sheds delicious sunny happiness in an effortless, un-selfconscious way.

But she’s only rushed in to this place just now to grab some coffees for her office crew. After lingering for ten minutes to trade news of developing events in both our lives, she finally goes on up to the counter to collect her team’s hot cups-to-go. And then she’s off, slipping gracefully out onto the street, trailing galactic clouds of star-dust in seven glorious hues and flavours.

And I’m left with the deeply rich flush of having stood once again for a few moments in her full-length embrace. An embrace in which everything other than simple happiness disappears and time & space melt into each other, fill to the brim, and overflow into boundless Rich Immediacy. Lost in this warmly radiant transparency for a few moments, I hear K actually coo my name! So softly…  She makes no move to shift away, so we continue to stand with our bodies pressed together, holding each others hands for another long moment. Finally, concerned that I’m delaying her, I clasp her slender hips between my hands, and gently give them a slow little turn back and forth like we’re dancing a subversive Twist, and confess, “I’m sorry, but now it seems I must be keeping you! …” She’s tickled by this little word play, and it brings to her lips a sparkling laugh, like the sound of white coral bells. And that’s when I realize acutely, “Yes, dear fellow, you’re a gonner now…”

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